Five Fall Into Adventure

As we all know, the famous five, plus gorgeous mum and grumpy dad, were all planning an Adventure (pronounced the same way as ‘Mur-der’ in Taggart) in WEST Somerset. I wouldn’t want anyone to think we are going to Weston-Super-Mud. Boris, the wild haired uncle, and Chris, the mad scientist, both said we could. The mood of expectation had changed to one of anticipation and excitement. Only four weeks till we could sit in the garden (one acre with streams and bridges) of St Pancras Well. Four weeks till we could play Croquet and barbecue freshly caught fish. Then came Leicester. 

The cases of the deadly virus in Leicester were climbing instead of going down. Because of this the people of Leicester would have to stay in lockdown. No pubs for them. No hair cut, meeting up with other families AT HOME, (no hugging), getting married, moving a metre forward, ice skating, going to the library, a museum, the bingo, a model village, the pictures, horse riding. Nothing. So from being ecstatic at being able to at last go on holiday, we were now worried that we once again wouldn’t.

Kathy was disappointed

So was vicky

Chris was in floods

Alex managed to hold it in

Even I had a little tear

And as for Ian......

The problem was that although it was only Leicester sent back into lockdown for a further two weeks, any town or area showing an ‘uptick’ in cases would also face the same fate. Cue pouring over coronovirus figures for Rotherham, Wiltshire, and WEST Somerset. The problem appeared to be that hotbed of vice, iniquity and illegal hugging, Wiltshire. The statistics showed a 400% increase over the previous week. There would be no way vicky and Alex could escape past Bradford on Avon. On closer examination however, it seemed that the cases had increased from 1 to 4. We hoped  Professor Chris didn’t take the stats at face value. Rotherham meanwhile was showing a dramatic fall, 

As you can see, MINUS 8. Leicester is waaaaaaaay our in front there. (Merthyr Tydfil? They are Welsh, enough said)

Surely we would be able to have our WEST Somerset adventure. 

Because of the Leicester situation, we decided to do some exciting things anyway, just in case. Here are just a few.

Zoom party with exotic destinations

Dog training

Visit to Twycross zoo

Mega socially distanced stay at home and drink ourselves silly promotion party

Dog walk

Visit to Nostell priory

Picnic in Padley Gorge

Dog walk

Climb up a hill

Besticked stroll to Robin Hoods cave. (Those sticks will feature heavily in days to come)

Not only did we have to cope with the Leicester conundrum, three weeks before departure the pubs re-opened. Reports on this varied, from nobody bothering to total meltdown. So in two weeks time the figures could rise to Texas proportions. And if you go to the pub you have to give a name and phone number. At any time the corona police can call you up and tell you to stay home for two weeks. No way am I going to the pub till afterwards. Ian, though, had other ideas. One of his cronies (the one with the beard I think) immediately booked a table at the Homestead, putting not only himself, but me, Kathy and Chris, at risk.

The selfish righteous brothers

This left the Wiltshire Massive with a head start.

Luckily, the pub was practically empty and only Pete Coupland left a name. Whew. So we carried on regardless

Beer brewing

Picnic in the rain

Dog walk to Wentworth castle in the rain

Dog walk

Two weeks to go. I ordered an Asda delivery to arrive on the Saturday evening. I was getting really excited, surely we’d be OK. More things were being allowed. Swimming in pools as long as you get changed at home, going to the gym, getting your nails done, getting a tattoo, (my family knows my preferred tattoo parlour), getting our beards trimmed (nothing too intricate), watching an open air opera!! The journey down was hashed and rehashed. Would mum be going to Susan’s? Would kathy and Chris be going to Susan’s with us, coming later, or going straight to WEST Somerset? Would Monty and Amy be going to Susan’s? Heather and David? Collette and Rowland? The permutations were endless but one thing was for sure. I would be on the road headed for WEST Somerset on Sat 25th July ( Coronovirus permitting!) 

Then more news.

From the height of excitement to the depths of despair.

I just about managed to contain myself

Chris was horrified

Kathy was a mess

Alex comforted Vicky

And as for Ian.......

Nothing to do but wait, and recommence doing exciting things.

Cause an innocent man to be possessed forever

Dog walk along the Crags Meadow

Gardening 

Building new furniture

Then more news, Boris said we could now go swimming indoors, go to an indoor performance, have our nails done, go to a gig. Disappointingly for Vicky, no nightclubs, and for Ian, no indoor play areas.

One week to go and it was looking good. The spikes in Rotherham and Wiltshire seemed to have abated, and WEST Somerset has  probably never even heard of Covid-19. Even the Machiavellian plan of action had come together. Ian and I would take mum and Monty down to Susan’s in the Forest of Dean on Friday morning. We would stay overnight. Chris, kathy and Misty would head straight for WEST Somerset on the Saturday, mainly as Misty was in season and we didn’t want any puppies from Monty. Vicky and Alex, having completed their luxury, hot-tubbed, windmill week, would drive down on Saturday afternoon. Collette and Rowland, having completed their Cornwall jolly, would arrive Saturday evening. I know there would be multiple households mixing in the same bubble here, but tell me if you understand all of Boris’s meandering instructions. So, Rowland and Collette would stay one or two nights before heading off back to coronaland (Wiltshire) and the rest of us would continue enjoying the croquet and snooker. Except kathy, who would be working. The following Saturday vicky and Alex would head back to coronaland, Chris and Misty would be off back up North, and Ian, Kathy and I would leave for Hamphsire (status unknown). Kathy and her miriad possessions would be deposited in Whiteley and Ian would attempt to start little red who had been left all alone for nigh on a year. Once done, we would leave kathy and head to the New Place for a night, just Ian and I, the first time since 1973. A meal and bottle of Prosecco would ensue, no doubt served by a lady in full hazmat suit. Next morning, up and out and off by 10 to Rickmansworth, where we would collect Heather and David who would be ‘laden down’. I asked if she meant Uncle Alan Johnson’s laden down, but apparently not. Good job we have a huge car. After cramming everything in, I’m thinking trip back from Bristol airport here, we would set off for the last lap back home to Yorkshire. Whew! If you didn’t follow here is a plan.

So please everyone, keep your fingers, toes, and everything else crossed that this Friday we can Holidaaaaaaay. 

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